


he doth protest too much

by ObscureReference



Series: Rarepair Friday Fics [15]
Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Kissing It Better, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-07
Updated: 2016-08-07
Packaged: 2018-08-07 06:51:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7704661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ObscureReference/pseuds/ObscureReference
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Anonymous said: for the rarepair friday, maybe Tango/Dex, 'what is the function of a rubber duck?' because if Tango was anyone in the HP verse he'd be Arthur Weasley.</p>
            </blockquote>





	he doth protest too much

"Are baths dirty?" Tango asked, the nth question in a row. He was on a roll today. "Whiskey said they were gross."

Dex sighed and felt around for his toolbox. The leak under the sink was not getting any better. He suspected that they'd need to buy new pipes soon.

"They're only dirty if you don't take a shower first," he answered, his fingers finally curling around the correct wrench.

Out in the real world and not stuck in the bowls of the kitchen piping, Tango made a noise of confusion. "If you've already taken a shower, why would you need a bath?"

Dex wished the electric lamp Bitty had given him were brighter. "Some people like it. You can use bath bombs and special soaps and stuff."

"What about toys?"

"What?"

"Like rubber ducks."

Dex tightened a bolt. It didn't seem to help. "Those are for kids."

"If only kids use them, why do you have one?"

Dex choked. The wrench slipped from his hand and bounced off his forehead with a clatter.

"Ow! Shit!"

"Are you okay?"

Without answering, Dex pushed himself out from under the kitchen sink and stood up. He eyed Tango with his palm still pressed to the ever-growing lump on his forehead.

"Who told you I have a rubber duck?" he demanded.

"Nursey did," Tango said, distracted. He was staring at Dex's head with a worried expression. "Don't you need some ice?"

"No," Dex said hurriedly. Then, "I don't know, sure. What else did Nursey say?"

Tango was already reaching for one of the ice packs they kept in the freezer. "Just that you had one."

"It was a _gag_ gift," Dex said. He took the ice pack from Tango. "I don't even take baths."

Tango frowned, though whether that was at the answer or at the way Dex winced when the ice pack touched his head, Dex couldn't tell.

"If it was a gag, why'd you keep it?"

"I don't know," Dex said, defensive. "It was just a dumb green rubber duck Nursey got for me one time. I just forgot to throw it out."

"Oh, okay." Tango paused. "Sorry."

Dex breathed out through his nose. Some of the tension crept out of his shoulders as he leaned against the fridge. "No, it's fine. It's a valid question."

"Okay," Tango said, but he didn't seem sure Dex meant it. He shifted his weight. "How's your head?"

It was throbbing and Dex could feel a headache coming on, but he wasn't going to tell Tango that.

"It's fine."

"Do you need aspirin?"

Dex sighed, admitting defeat. "Yeah, that'd be nice."

While Tango shuffled away to find some, Dex sat down at the table. He kept the ice pack steady on his bump. If he was lucky, it wouldn't bruise. It wasn't the first time Dex had dropped a wrench on his head, but he'd been much younger the last time it happened and it always hurt something awful.

Tango came back with a bottle from upstairs, by which time Dex had already got himself a glass of water.

"Thanks," he said, popping two capsules in his mouth.

Tango's hands hovered above Dex's own.

"Can I see?" he asked, gesturing to the ice pack.

Dex shrugged and pulled the ice off. His hand was getting cold anyway. Tango peered at the injury, and Dex wondered what he saw.

"It doesn't look _too_ bad," Tango said, which only meant there hadn't been enough time for the damage to show itself yet.

Dex didn't want Tango to think it was his fault. "Yeah, it's fine, it doesn't even—"

His jaw snapped shut with an audible _click_ as Tango chastely kissed Dex's forehead, dead center on the spot the wrench had hit.

Tango's phone vibrated. He looked down.

"Oh, hang on, Whiskey's texting m—are you okay?"

Dex kept his face covered with his hands and blamed his blush on the pain. "I'm fine."

**Author's Note:**

> http://someobscurereference.tumblr.com/tagged/rarepair-friday-fics


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